“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth.”

“All you have to do, I tell myself, is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard.”

“You respect women, you little fuckin' shit. It was a fuckin' woman who carried you around in her fuckin' body, fuckin' birthed you, and fuckin' lovedyou. And it's gonna be a woman who keeps you warm at night, who lets you inside her body, and it's gonna be a woman who carries around your fuckin' children. You fuckin' respect that, you feel me? You fuckin' respect women— all of ‘em— or I will end you.”

“When it comes to you darlin’ I got no fuckin’ sense. You fuckin’ pull me in until you’re all I can fuckin’ see and suddenly I can’t fuckin’ breathe but I don’t care cuz, babe, you’re you, and I ain’t never met anyone as fuckin’ perfect as you.”

“Cause when it comes to you, darlin', I got no fuckin' sense. You fuckin' pull me in until you're all I can fuckin' see. Suddenly, I can't fuckin' breathe, but I don't care 'cause you, babe, you're you. And I ain't ever met anyone as fuckin' perfect as you.”

“There are, I have discovered, ten commandments for mother-in-law. These rules are not mine. They come from mothers-in-law of every color, race, class, and disposition. Given the diversity of the women, the uniformity of opinion on this compels attention -- also discussion. Here are the ten most recommended rules:1. Keep your mouth shut.2. Keep your mouth shut.3. Keep your mouth shut.4. Keep your mouth shut.5. Keep your mouth shut.6. Keep your mouth shut.7. Keep your mouth shut.8. Keep your mouth shut.9. Keep your mouth shut.10. Keep your mouth shut.”