“If it has a staple in it it doesn't get read. Never walk into a presentation without a one-page summary.”

“Winslow wants you to learn this"- he waved a few sheets of stapled pages- "and that." He pointed to the book in my lap. Fifty French Conversations. It was one of our textbooks. I'd stopped at the seventeenth: Mon hamster a mange trop de fromage. Il a mal au ventre maintenant. "The rest is the Bainbridge Method.""You have a method?""Patented and proven."I waved the book. "Does it include greedy, cheese-guzzling hamsters with stomachaches?"He nodded. "Absolutely.French conversations is nothing without rodents and cheese.Is there something shameful in your past involving either?""Not that I can think of off the top of my head.""Tant pis.""And that means...?""Fuhgeddaboudit," he translated, grinning.I sighed. "Do people make Russian jokes in your presence?""How do you get five Russians to agree on anything?""How?" I asked."Shoot four of them."I thought for a sec. "I'm not sure that's funny.""No," Alex said. "People don't tell many Russian jokes in my presence.""I should start my three things, huh?""Yeah.That would be good."I did some speedy translating in my head. "Je n'ai jamais lu Huckleberry Finn, Beloved, ou Moby-Dick.""Ella,no one has read Moby-Dick. The French was passable, but as far as revelations go,that sucked.""Ah, but there's a part deux. All three of those books were required reading last year in my American lit class. I used SparkNotes.""You're kidding, right?""See?" I daintily brushed Dorito crumbs from my fingertips. "Changes your perception of me, doesn't it?""No,I mean, 'That's a revelation?' You can do better than that.""Maybe," I agreed, "but it's still early in the game.”

“Nonna is convinced that the ink from tattoos gets way inside and,like the mercury in tinned tuna, causes brain damage.She doesn't know that Leo has a lip print tattooed on his left butt cheek. Now,maybe Leo's not the best argument against ink as brain damager, but heaven help him when someone lets that secret out to Nonna.”

“Do you like that?" I'll say in surprise since it doesn't seem like her type of thing, and she'll look at me as if I'm mad. That!?" She'll say, "No, it's hideous" Then why on earth," I always want to say, "did you walk all the way over there to touch it?" but of course...I have learned to say nothing when shopping because no matter what you say... Read more - "I'm hungry", "I'm bored", "My feet are tired", "Yes, that one looks nice on you too", "Well, have both of them", "Oh, for fuck sake", "Can't we just go home", "Monsoon? Again? Oh for fuck sake", "then why on earth did you walk all the way over there to touch it?" - it doesn't pay, so I say nothing.”

“Whatever you want," he said. "Will you please come here now?"I slipped a piece of protective tissue over my drawing and flipped the book closed. A piece of blue scratch paper slid out, the line I'd copied from Edward;s poetry book. "Hey. Translate for me, Monsieur Bainbridge."I set the sketchbook on my stool and joined him on the chaise. He tugged me onto his lap and read over his head. "'Qu'ieu sui avinen, leu lo sai.' 'That I am handsome, I know.""Verry funny.""Very true." He grinned. "The translation. That's what it says. Old-fashionedly."I thought of Edward's notation on the page, the reminder to read the poem to Diana in bed, and rolled my eyes. You're so vain.I bet you think this song is about you..."Boy and their egos."Alex cupped my face in his hands. "Que tu est belle, tu le sais.""Oh,I am not-""Shh," he shushed me, and leaned in.The first bell came way too soon. I reluctantly loosened my grip on his shirt and ran my hands over my hair. He prompty thrust both hands in and messed it up again. "Stop," I scolded, but without much force. "I have physics," he told me. "We're studying weak interaction."I sandwiched his open hand between mine. "You know absolutely nothing about that.""Don't be so quick to accept the obvious," he mock-scolded me. "Weak interaction can actually change the flavor of quarks."The flavor of quirks, I thought, and vaguely remembered something about being charmed. I'd sat through a term of introductory physics before switching to basic biology. I'd forgotten most of that as soon as I'd been tested on it,too."I gotta go." Alex pushed me to my feet and followed. "Last person to get to class always gets the first question, and I didn't do the reading.""Go," I told him. "I have history. By definition, we get to history late.""Ha-ha. I'll talk to you later." He kissed me again, then walked out, closing the door quietly behind him.”

“One may hide cruel. One may even hide a certain amount of madness. One can never hide stupidity.”

“Writing is really very easy. Tap a vein and bleed onto the page. Everything else is just technical.”