“I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.”

“The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them."(The Decider, July 21, 2007)”

“The Bible looks like it started out as a game of mad libs.”

“you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!”

“Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake--you know, to send the right message to kids.”

“Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?”

“freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that "Oh, I don't get involved in politics," as if that makes you somehow cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.”