“I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.”

“Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.”

“NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American high schools agree that newspapers should only be able to publish government-approved material. Almost one out of five said people should not be allowed to voice unpopular opinions..This is the first generation after September 11th, who discovered news during a 'watch what you say' administration...George W. Bush once asked, 'is our children learning.' No, they isn't. A better question would be, 'is our teacher's teaching?”

“You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.”

“Don't you miss the days when America was just MORALLY bankrupt?”

“Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit!”

“If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it "proactive intelligence screening" or "high alert detecting", people would be saying "Well, it's about time".”