“Humor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.”

“Hard to find anything lovelier than a tree. They grow at right angles to a tangent of the nominal sphere of the Earth.”

“History is but the record of the public and official acts of human beings. It is our object, therefore, to humanize our history and deal with people past and present; people who ate and possibly drank; people who were born, flourished and died; not grave tragedians, posing perpetually for their photographs.”

“The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it.”

“Science is the key to our future, and if you don’t believe in science, then you’re holding everybody back. And it’s fine if you as an adult want to run around pretending or claiming that you don’t believe in evolution, but if we educate a generation of people who don’t believe in science, that’s a recipe for disaster. We talk about the Internet. That comes from science. Weather forecasting. That comes from science. The main idea in all of biology is evolution. To not teach it to our young people is wrong.”

“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't.”

“America had many other discoverers besides Columbus, but he seems to have made more satisfactory arrangements with the historians than any of the others.”