“Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off. ”
“We're in three living groups, 'cause even after the world's ended some assholes still can't get along.”
“The best rush in the world is getting something at 80 percent off.”
“The best thing you can do is get very good at being you.”
“Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.”
“It's very strange to be an imaginary friend. You can't be suffocated and you can't get sick and you can't fall and break your head and you can't catch pneumonia. The only thing that can kill you is a person not believing in you.”