“To give one can of beer to a thousand people is not nearly as much fun as to give 1,000 cans of beer to one guy. You give a thousand people a can of beer and each of them will drink it, smack his lips and go back to watching the game. You give 1,000 cans to one guy, and there is always the outside possibility that 50,000 people will talk about it.”

“The most beautiful thing in the world is a ballpark filled with people.”

“Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off. ”

“I try not to kid myself. You know, I don't mind romancing someone else, but to fool yourself is pretty devastating and dangerous.”

“You can't stop people from talking about you, but you can stop giving them something to talk about.”

“The people are immensely likable— cheerful, extrovert, quick-witted, and unfailingly obliging. Their cities are safe and clean and nearly always built on water. They have a society that is prosperous, well ordered, and instinctively egalitarian. The food is excellent. The beer is cold. The sun nearly always shines. There is coffee on every corner. Life doesn't get much better than this.”

“You can give me a thousand reasons why not to do something, but give me one good reason why, and I'll do it.”