“Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE!Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you're over here like this?Calvin:...I don't think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.”

“[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don't think you've ever invited me to... Calvin's Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin's Mom: You're contagious! You can't have anyone over to play! Calvin: Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll spoil the whole thing! I was going to trick Susie into catching... HEY! OW! LET GO! Susie: [Hanging up the phone] Any chance of getting transferred, Dad?”

“I'll be like your bodyguard or something. Me Tarzan. You Jane.”

“I am Tarzan of the Apes. I want you. I am yours. You are mine. We live here together always in my house. I will bring you the best of fruits, the tenderest deer, the finest meats that roam the jungle. I will hunt for you. I am the greatest of the jungle fighters. I will fight for you. I am the mightiest of the jungle fighters. You are Jane Porter, I saw it in your letter. When you see this you will know that it is for you and that Tarzan of the Apes loves you.”

“Taking you to the shower. Me Tarzan, You Jane. Do as I say.”

“Uhm, let go of that bossy vine, Tarzan, this Jane don’t swing that way. I said I’m notgoing.”