“Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?”

“The world isn't fair, Calvin.""I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?”

“Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am? ”

“Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I can"t find them.Mom: I haven't seen them.Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!”

“Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.”

“For me, it's been liberating to put myself in the mind of a fictitious six year-old each day, and rediscover my own curiosity. I've been amazed at how one idea leads to others if I allow my mind to play and wander.”

“Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other...”