“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”

“The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.”

“Masturbation is an absolutely peerless cure for the hiccups”

“Really, awfully, terribly, I had a sudden attack of hiccups. I was staring at the Doctor, murderously angry with him. And hiccuping...'That's it. I'm going down there. I'm offering myself to them instead. If you're too much of a coward.'The Doctor winced at that last word.I hiccuped again.'Amy Pond,' he said. 'Try holding your breath.''I will not hold my breath! This is important! Rory is having his mind vacuumed and we're just standing here-''Hiccuping.''Yes.'We stood, glaring at each other. I hiccuped again.'Seriously,' said the Doctor, patiently. 'I know it's not the best time, but really, try holding your breath.'I stood there. Hiccuping and scowling at him.”

“Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust.”

“You know, when I was in love, I was always inventing things. A whole array of tricks, illusions and optical effects to amuse my lady friend. I think she'd had enough of my inventions by the end... I wanted to create a voyage to the moon just for her, but what I should have given her was a real journey on earth.”