“I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.”

“If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. ”

“Calvin: Somewhere in Communist Russia I'll bet there's a little boy who has never known anything but censorship and oppression. But maybe he's heard of America, and he dreams of living in this land of freedom and opportunity! Someday, I'd like to meet that little boy...and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!!Calvin's Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid lima beans.”

“Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.”“That’s thoughtful of you.”"See, on the front it says, ‘Get Well Soon’ … and on the inside it says,’Because my bed isn’t made, my clothes need to be put away and I’m hungry. Love Calvin.’ Want to sign it?”“Sure, I’m hungry too”

“Paul Gauguin asked, "whence do we come? What are we? Where are we going?" Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I came from my room, I'm a kid with big plans, and I'm going outside! See ya later! Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway?”

“You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”

“I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.”