“I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.”

“So long, Pop! I'm off to check my tiger trap!”

“Paul Gauguin asked, "whence do we come? What are we? Where are we going?" Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I came from my room, I'm a kid with big plans, and I'm going outside! See ya later! Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway?”

“I'd hate to have a kid like me.”

“Calvin: Trick or Treat!Adult: Where's your costume? What are you supposed to be?Calvin: I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!...Boy, am I scary or what?”

“But for my own example, I'd never believe one little kid could have so much brains!”

“I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!”