“Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.”

“For me, it's been liberating to put myself in the mind of a fictitious six year-old each day, and rediscover my own curiosity. I've been amazed at how one idea leads to others if I allow my mind to play and wander.”

“People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.”

“You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats.”

“But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!”

“Barney's Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a planwhen his dad said "Eat your peas."Barney shouted no and ranBarney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellarBarney's Mom never found out where he'd gone,Cause Barney didn't tell her.There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruelWith every bite for fifty yearshe was sorry he'd been cruel”

“Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.”