“Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other...”

“Even when you look for it, you're never prepared for it.”

“Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?”

“Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! ...Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.”

“If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. ”

“People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.”

“Don't look into car headlights and freeze, because you'll either get run over or shot!”