“Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ”

“I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin”

“Instead of asking what's wrong with rampant consumerism, we ought to be asking, 'What justifies it?' Popular art does not have to pander to the lowest level of intelligence and taste.”

“CALVIN:Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny.Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?HOBBES:I suppose if we couldn't laugh at the things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.”

“Like delicate lace,So the threads intertwine,Oh, gossamer webOf wond'rous design!Such beauty and graceWild nature produces...Ughh, look at the spiderSuck out that bug's juices!”

“Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet”

“Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it's just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!”