“People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.”

“That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.”

“Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.”

“Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other...”

“Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.”

“For your information, I'm staying like this, and everyone else can just get used to it! If people don't like me the way I am, well TOUGH BEANS! It's a free country! I don't need anyone's permission to be the way I want! This is who I am - Take it or leave it!”

“Calvin: Somewhere in Communist Russia I'll bet there's a little boy who has never known anything but censorship and oppression. But maybe he's heard of America, and he dreams of living in this land of freedom and opportunity! Someday, I'd like to meet that little boy...and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!!Calvin's Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid lima beans.”