“Sleepwalking?""Nightmare?""Homicidal psycho jungle cat!”

“Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE!Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you're over here like this?Calvin:...I don't think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.”

“Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books.”

“Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery -- it recharges by running.”

“It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.”

“Calvin: Somewhere in Communist Russia I'll bet there's a little boy who has never known anything but censorship and oppression. But maybe he's heard of America, and he dreams of living in this land of freedom and opportunity! Someday, I'd like to meet that little boy...and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!!Calvin's Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid lima beans.”

“Barney's Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a planwhen his dad said "Eat your peas."Barney shouted no and ranBarney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellarBarney's Mom never found out where he'd gone,Cause Barney didn't tell her.There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruelWith every bite for fifty yearshe was sorry he'd been cruel”