“The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity.”

“Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report? Hobbes: (Reading Calvin's paper) "The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender modes." Calvin: Academia, here I come!”

“I've been thinking Hobbes""On a weekend?""Well, it wasn't on purpose”

“Girls are like slugs—they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.”

“At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.”

“If you can't win by reason, go for volume.”

“It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.”