“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”

“Boy, there's nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.”

“If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.”

“Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!”

“Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! ...Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.”

“As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.”

“I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.”