“You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”

“I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.”

“Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I can"t find them.Mom: I haven't seen them.Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!”

“I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.”

“You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!”

“I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.”

“Susie: Hi Calvin! Aren't you excited about going to school? Look at all these great school supplies I got! I love having new notebooks and stuff!Calvin:All I've got to say is they're not making me learn any foreign languages. If English is good enough for me, then by golly, it's good enough for the rest of the world! Everyone should just speak English or shut up, that's what I say!Susie: You should maybe check the chemical content of your breakfast cereal.”