“1. Heat the oven to Denial.2. Prepare the pan with a spray of Anger.3. Mix in two medium-size bargains with The Bony Guy.4. Add 1/3 cup of Depression (tears will do if you want low-fat).5. Bake...until you can jab a toothpick in your arm and it seems Acceptable.”

“These are: (1) the Moral Law; (2) Heaven; (3) Earth; (4) the Commander; (5) method and discipline.”

“STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT:1 cup of cooked oatmeal1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk)2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness)1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture)1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color)1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity)Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutesLet mixture cool to warm vomit temperatureUse liberally as neededMakes 4 to 5 cups”

“The writer must be four people: 1) The nut, the obsede 2) The moron 3) The stylist 4) The critic. 1 supplies the material; 2 lets it come out; 3 is taste; 4 is intelligence.”

“Forget Not: 1)to be patient with yourself. 2) the difference between good and foolish sacrifices. 3) to be happy NOW. 4) the 'why' of the gospel. 5) the Lord loves you.”

“(1) Use mathematics as shorthand language, rather than as an engine of inquiry. (2) Keep to them till you have done. (3) Translate into English. (4) Then illustrate by examples that are important in real life (5) Burn the mathematics. (6) If you can’t succeed in 4, burn 3. This I do often.”