“I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.”

“People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now.”

“Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.”

“Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.”

“Personally, I don’t think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?”

“You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shelter when it is shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your windows. So that's why I'm scared when you say you love me.”

“All right, I'll take a chance. I will fall in love with you. If i'm a fool you can have the night, you can have the morning too. Can you cook and sew. make flowers grow. Do you understand my pain? Are you willing to risk it all or is your love in vain?”