“I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.”
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Similar quotes
“my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens”
“She smells of her cooking and the perfume Eau d'Hadrien. My mother wore it, too. She used to cook, like Lili. Our house smelled of garlic and thyme instead of sadness.”
“Smoke is not chasing me and making my eyes sweat. My eyes are not burning. I am not crying. I am not standing behind my mother and she is not facing the wall and she is not saying, 'Smoke follows beauty.' Smoke follows beauty. Smoke follows beauty. Smoke follows beauty.”
“Sorry, am I being rude?" she asks."I'm used to saying whatever is on my mind. Mom used to say that politeness is deception in pretty packaging”
“There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.”