“Personally, I don’t think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?”

“People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now.”

“Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.”

“I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.”

“Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.”

“Intelligent life on other planets? I'm not even sure there is on earth!”

“Thinking of a series of dreamsWhere the time and the tempo flyAnd there's no exit in any direction'Cept the one that you can't see with your eyes”