“Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.”

“People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now.”

“I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.”

“Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.”

“Personally, I don’t think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?”

“People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.”

“Then I felt up silence. Then silence and I went all the way.”