“We are not saying that Evolution can't exist, only that it is guided by His Noodly Appendage.”

“We find, counterintuitively, that a small population correlates with shorter humans, and a larger population correlates with taller humans. This only makes sense in light of the FSM theory of gravity. With more people on earth today, there are fewer Noodly Appendages to go around, so we each receive less touching—pushing down toward the earth—and thus, with less force downward, we're taller.”

“The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity. ”

“The reason or dog's evolution could be to guide humans to their higher purpose.”

“It is failure that guides evolution; perfection provides no incentive for improvement, and nothing is perfect.”

“Really, the only thing a psychiatrist can do that a good (fishing) guide can't is write prescriptions.”