“If Spence had really wanted to bed Miss Nordstrum, he would have said how she’d been in his mind since the moment he arrived in Reederville. He’d have added that her visits to Amanda after the baby’s birth had given him hope that she might have come in part to see him.And he would have ended by assuring her that when he agreed to go riding with her today it hadn’t been with the intention of kissing her, buther beauty had stolen his senses away and he couldn’t resist hercharms. He wouldn’t have fucked her that afternoon, but sometime within a month, he could’ve seduced her into bed.Spence was a master at weaving a spell of words to charm a womaninto doing what he wanted. Hadn’t he proven that with Amanda? Amanda, who wouldn’t leave his head, day or night.Amanda, the most colossal mistake of his life.”

“He waited a few more seconds, hoping her tight jaw would unclench and she’d ask him to stay, but she sat staring down the empty track.There was nothing for him to do but walk away. The drum of his boot heels as he left Amanda and Lydia behind sounded like the clang of thedoor slamming shut on his prison cell in Lexington. Each step away fromthem felt like a year added to his sentence.Spence only walked about a hundred yards before he stopped. His chest ached so much he could hardly draw breath. He couldn’t do this.He looked back over his shoulder at Amanda sitting on the bench. She held Lydia on her lap facing her, resting against her arms and looking up into her face. They were involved in an intimate, one-sided conversation.He stood and stared. He couldn’t leave them, but Amanda had made it clear she didn’t want him. God, he would give anything if he could goback and change the way they’d met. But how could he have done thingsdifferently and still have met Amanda? If he hadn’t pretended to be Travis Baxter that day at the station, she never would’ve spoken to him at all. Spence couldn’t regret what he’d done nor could he condone it. It was a double-edged sword.”

“She turned to go back inside the livery stable. The excitement with which she’dentered it less than an hour earlier had been replaced by heavy-hearted dread. She didn’t want to see Jim right now, or even think of him and the ramifications of their impossiblerelationship.He waited for her only a few yards from the door, leaning against Lady’s stall and scratching her forelock. When Catherine approached, he raised his eyebrows.“Nathan won’t tell.” She pressed a finger to her lips. “We’re safe.”Jim stood there a moment, his expression unreadable. He took a tentative step toward her, pointed to her and himself and twined his fingers together with another questioningtilt of his brows.“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I don’t know if we’re together or not. I simply don’t know. Please don’t ask me this tonight. I need some time to think.”His gaze was riveted on her lips, then her eyes. He seemed calm, but she noticed tension in his jaw and neck, signs she’d learned to read to tell her when he was upset or angry. She wished she could give him a better answer, could tell him what he wanted tohear, but to say “I love you and want to be with you” would be a lie right now. Her conflicting emotions were tearing her apart.Walking over to him, she tilted her face up and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m sorry,”she whispered near his ear so he couldn’t see her words. “I don’t mean to keep hurting you. I want to love you, but I’m afraid. You don’t understand what a huge thing you’reasking of me.”She stepped back, gave him a small smile, and gestured toward the door. “I have to go now. It’s late. But I’ll try to see you soon.”He nodded, but the hopeful light had gone out of his eyes.”

“But, after one quick trace of his tongue between her lips, he abruptly pulled away and stepped back from her. She was leaning into him so hard he had to put his hands on her shoulders to steady her.Catherine’s eyes flew open. Releasing her shoulders, he pointed past her to the books he’d set on the desk.She opened her mouth to protest, but closed it again. As she followed Jim, she caught a glimpse of his profile when he picked up the books and slate. There was a smug grin on his face. He was toying with her, teaching her a lesson—that two could play at heating things up and abruptly cooling them down.Indignation and amusement competed in her as she took her seat beside him and he handed her the paper he’d written. She hadn’t set him any homework. He’d done it on his own, printed a brief description of their picnic in short sentences or single words. It wasalmost like a poem without rhyme. “Fish swim water. Sky. Trees. Leaves. Eat food. Drink.”She smiled at him. “Very good.”He touched his lips, puckering them ina kiss, and tapped the signing book.“Kiss,” she said and looked up the sign for it. “Fingers touching thumbs as bothhands come together,” the text said. Her cheeks flushed as she read, “trembling slightly to indicate the degree of passion.”Catherine made the movement as she repeated the word aloud. “Kiss.”Jim copied the movement, shaping his lips like hers. He pointed to the slate and offered her the chalk so she could spell the word. He studied each letter as she wrote it, before printing them himself: K-i-s-s.Catherine’s cheeks flamed even hotter from seeing it written in glaring white against the black slate. Kiss. Kiss. Somehow there seemed to be no denying or hiding it now that it was written down. She glanced at Jim’s lips and her nipples tightened at the memory ofhis mouth sucking them.”

“There’s this girl…this woman I can’t get out of my mind.” He spilled the story of his seduction of sweet, innocent Amanda McCormick for Rufus’s examination. When he finished talking, there was another silence.“You did that?” Rufus’s voice was as deep and gravelly as a quarry.“Fucked some poor virgin while posing as her fiancé?”“Yeah.”“You got some balls. How’d you know you’d be a close enough match to this Baxter?”“Brown hair, blue eyes, that’s all she seemed to know about him.”Spence couldn’t explain his need for the rush of tempting fate. “I took a chance. It was a gamble.”“Jesus, you’re a mean son of a bitch.”“I didn’t want to hurt her. I was just having fun.” He sounded like a spoiled child even to himself. “And now you want to go see this woman and try to make it right?”Rufus said. “Just how the hell did you think you were going to fix it? Byshowing up and wrecking her marriage, if you haven’t done that already?”It was Spence’s turn to pause.“Haven’t you done enough to this lady? Where’s your head, boy?Leave her alone.”“I can’t. I have to see her again.” He didn’t want to share his dreamsof the little girl. He’d sound crazy.Rufus laughed harshly. “So you can try and get another piece of tail?”“No. It’s not like that.”“What? You think you’re in love. Son, you don’t know the first thingabout it. If you did, you’d be putting this woman’s needs above your own.”He thought of the little girl telling him to go to Amanda. “Maybe whatshe needs is me.”Rufus made a scoffing noise. “A woman needs a man who’ll stand byher, be there through hard times and good. From what you’ve told methese past months, this is the longest you’ve stayed put in one place inyour life and that’s only ‘cause they won’t let you out.”“I just want to do the right thing.”“Then do like I say. Leave her be. You think she’s going to be happyto see you again?”Spence pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders and watched a gray cloud puff from his mouth.“You still there, boy?”“Where else?”“Don’t take it too hard. Everybody does things they’re sorry for.Sometimes there’s just no way to make it right.”He leaned back against the wall and reviewed the stupid chain of events that had landed him in jail. Maybe Rufus was right and there was no way he could ever apologize for what he’d done to Amanda. He should let the whole thing slide and leave the woman in peace.”

“The exhaustion apparent in his slumped shoulders made her heart twist. He looked so tired she wanted to rub his back and stroke his hair, as a mother would for a child. This was natural compassion, she decided, and walked toward him to give him what comfort she could.He finally heard her and lifted his head from his arms. Locks of sandy hair fell over his forehead and he looked up at her with deep indigo eyes. Even in the dim light, she could see pain etched across his features. What horrors stalked his dreams? What could she do to help him sleep peacefully?For a long moment they gazed at one another and then Huiann rested her hand on his shoulder. At the same time, Alan leaned into her body. They came together like two halves of an eggshell carefully broken. He slid a hand around her waist and pulled her closer. His face pressed against her breast. His arms wrapped around her.She held him, cradling his head, rubbing his back. His body was so warm in her embrace. Her heart beat steadily and her stomach flipped in slow, lazy somersaults. The moment she’d sensed coming for so long was here. What would happen next?For a long time, they remained locked in perfect union, contented, safe, no longer alone. As she caressed his hair, soft as she’d imagined, he tilted his face to look up at her. His eyes glittered in the lamplight. He wanted more and Huiann realized she did too.”

“Finally, he slipped his arms around her too.Her eyes closed in relief.“I was thinking,” His voice rumbled against her ear. “That I’ve brought you so much trouble after everything you’ve done for me. Maybe it’s not too late to fix it. If I leave…”“No!” She pulled away and looked up into his face. It was swollen red around one eye and his nose. Brown flecks of paint marred the blue swirls. “That’s not going to solveanything.”He stroked the side of her face, his thumb lingering across her lips. “If I leave, it will be better.”“Not for me.” Tears welled at the corners of her eyes and she blinked them away.He gathered her close again, kissing the top of her head and rubbing his hand on her back. “Don’t cry. ”When Sarah thought about it later, she would realize that he had never added, “I’ll stay.”