“I’m sorry. No.” Her mouth continued to move, too fast, pouring out a stream ofexplanation and apology.Jim didn’t need to understand all the words. “Sorry, sorry, sorry, but no,” they all said.”

“When the last peak died away, Alan opened his eyes. Huiann was watching his face. He was embarrassed until he saw the glitter of tears in her eyes.He touched her cheek. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” His sticky spunk was all over her hand and his belly and he felt like a fool. He reached to grab the undershirt he’d tossed aside and wiped both of them clean. “I’m sorry.”“No. No, Alan.” She touched her fingers to his mouth. “Gou. It is good. You face is beau-ti-ful.” She pronounced each syllable with exquisite care.He kissed the fingers pressed to his lips. “No, you’re beautiful. A damn miracle.”

“She gazed back at him, her mouth open, gasping for air. Her white blouse rose and fell with each panting breath. She shook her head. “No. We can’t. I’m sorry.”His gut twisted. He wanted to shout, “Why? Why can I never have what I want—just once?”

“I want to take care of it. I need to do something to make up for…” He breathed out shakily. His hands clenched at his sides and he stared at the ground. “I’m sorry for making all of this happen. He was right. I should have stayed away from you. I’ve brought you nothing but trouble.”Sarah grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look into her eyes. “No! Forgeteverything that man ever said. You did nothing wrong. Not ever. He made this happen.”She grasped his hands and held them. “I don’t know how many more ways I can say it.I’m happy you came here. You’ve…” she hesitated over the melodramatic words, but they were the truth and he needed to hear them, “brought my heart to life again.”She rubbed her hands over his bandaged ones then lifted them to her mouth andkissed the backs of them.She gestured to the smolder ruin. “We’ll take care of that later. Right now I have something more important for you to do. I want you to come inside with me. I need you to hold me.”His eyes were glistening as he looked into hers. He nodded then took her hand and followed her into the house.”

“She turned to go back inside the livery stable. The excitement with which she’dentered it less than an hour earlier had been replaced by heavy-hearted dread. She didn’t want to see Jim right now, or even think of him and the ramifications of their impossiblerelationship.He waited for her only a few yards from the door, leaning against Lady’s stall and scratching her forelock. When Catherine approached, he raised his eyebrows.“Nathan won’t tell.” She pressed a finger to her lips. “We’re safe.”Jim stood there a moment, his expression unreadable. He took a tentative step toward her, pointed to her and himself and twined his fingers together with another questioningtilt of his brows.“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I don’t know if we’re together or not. I simply don’t know. Please don’t ask me this tonight. I need some time to think.”His gaze was riveted on her lips, then her eyes. He seemed calm, but she noticed tension in his jaw and neck, signs she’d learned to read to tell her when he was upset or angry. She wished she could give him a better answer, could tell him what he wanted tohear, but to say “I love you and want to be with you” would be a lie right now. Her conflicting emotions were tearing her apart.Walking over to him, she tilted her face up and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m sorry,”she whispered near his ear so he couldn’t see her words. “I don’t mean to keep hurting you. I want to love you, but I’m afraid. You don’t understand what a huge thing you’reasking of me.”She stepped back, gave him a small smile, and gestured toward the door. “I have to go now. It’s late. But I’ll try to see you soon.”He nodded, but the hopeful light had gone out of his eyes.”

“There’s this girl…this woman I can’t get out of my mind.” He spilled the story of his seduction of sweet, innocent Amanda McCormick for Rufus’s examination. When he finished talking, there was another silence.“You did that?” Rufus’s voice was as deep and gravelly as a quarry.“Fucked some poor virgin while posing as her fiancé?”“Yeah.”“You got some balls. How’d you know you’d be a close enough match to this Baxter?”“Brown hair, blue eyes, that’s all she seemed to know about him.”Spence couldn’t explain his need for the rush of tempting fate. “I took a chance. It was a gamble.”“Jesus, you’re a mean son of a bitch.”“I didn’t want to hurt her. I was just having fun.” He sounded like a spoiled child even to himself. “And now you want to go see this woman and try to make it right?”Rufus said. “Just how the hell did you think you were going to fix it? Byshowing up and wrecking her marriage, if you haven’t done that already?”It was Spence’s turn to pause.“Haven’t you done enough to this lady? Where’s your head, boy?Leave her alone.”“I can’t. I have to see her again.” He didn’t want to share his dreamsof the little girl. He’d sound crazy.Rufus laughed harshly. “So you can try and get another piece of tail?”“No. It’s not like that.”“What? You think you’re in love. Son, you don’t know the first thingabout it. If you did, you’d be putting this woman’s needs above your own.”He thought of the little girl telling him to go to Amanda. “Maybe whatshe needs is me.”Rufus made a scoffing noise. “A woman needs a man who’ll stand byher, be there through hard times and good. From what you’ve told methese past months, this is the longest you’ve stayed put in one place inyour life and that’s only ‘cause they won’t let you out.”“I just want to do the right thing.”“Then do like I say. Leave her be. You think she’s going to be happyto see you again?”Spence pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders and watched a gray cloud puff from his mouth.“You still there, boy?”“Where else?”“Don’t take it too hard. Everybody does things they’re sorry for.Sometimes there’s just no way to make it right.”He leaned back against the wall and reviewed the stupid chain of events that had landed him in jail. Maybe Rufus was right and there was no way he could ever apologize for what he’d done to Amanda. He should let the whole thing slide and leave the woman in peace.”

“When she’d finished, she cut the thread with a pair of scissors, patted the wound once more and stepped back. “Better.”“No bandage?”She shook her head. “No bandage. Need air.”“All right. I guess you’re the doctor.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap. Even in the midst of inflicting pain she’d aroused his lust. “Don’t I get a reward for being a good patient?”“I don’t understand.” She delivered the all-purpose phrase he’d taught her.“Reward. A kiss.”The grooves in her cheeks flashed as her lips turned up. “Yes, you need a kiss.” And she bent her head to give him one.”