“Less thinking. More trust. Breathe.”

“Life gets mighty precious when there's less of it to waste”

“The Thing Isto love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it and everything you've held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands, your throat filled with the slit of it. When grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs; when grief weights you like your own flesh only more of it, an obesity of grief, you think , how can a body withstand this? Then you hold like life a face between your palms, a plain face, no charming smile, no violet eyes, and you say, yes, I will take you I will love you, againEllen Bass”

“She gazed back at him, her mouth open, gasping for air. Her white blouse rose and fell with each panting breath. She shook her head. “No. We can’t. I’m sorry.”His gut twisted. He wanted to shout, “Why? Why can I never have what I want—just once?”

“Huiann swallowed, her hands clasped together and her eyes glassy with tears, then she spoke some more.“Her heart is full of feeling for you, but she knows it is wrong for her to stay with you. She wishes for you to find a white woman who will fit into your life and be the wife you need.”Alan started shaking his head before Dong Li even finished translating. “No. Tell her she makes me happy. She is exactly the wife I need.” He breathed deeply, steadying the quaver in his voice. “Ask Chua Huiann if she will do me the honor of marrying me.”Dong clicked his tongue, but offered Alan’s proposal.Huiann’s eyes opened wide and she spoke rapidly.“How would your family and your people react to you marrying a foreign bride? You would be ostracized. It cannot be.” Dong added his own thoughts to the translation. “The girl speaks sense and sees more clearly than you.”Alan frowned. He couldn’t promise his family would accept Huiann or ever welcome them home as a couple, but he didn’t care. Maybe she was seeing reason, but he was only seeing her.”

“I want to take care of it. I need to do something to make up for…” He breathed out shakily. His hands clenched at his sides and he stared at the ground. “I’m sorry for making all of this happen. He was right. I should have stayed away from you. I’ve brought you nothing but trouble.”Sarah grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look into her eyes. “No! Forgeteverything that man ever said. You did nothing wrong. Not ever. He made this happen.”She grasped his hands and held them. “I don’t know how many more ways I can say it.I’m happy you came here. You’ve…” she hesitated over the melodramatic words, but they were the truth and he needed to hear them, “brought my heart to life again.”She rubbed her hands over his bandaged ones then lifted them to her mouth andkissed the backs of them.She gestured to the smolder ruin. “We’ll take care of that later. Right now I have something more important for you to do. I want you to come inside with me. I need you to hold me.”His eyes were glistening as he looked into hers. He nodded then took her hand and followed her into the house.”

“Sarah drew a deep breath and released it slowly, waiting for her voice to steady before she spoke. “It’s a ve ry good story. Are those the things you want for yourself? ”He nodded and began folding the advertisement. “But I can’t have them,” he said matter-of-factly.“Why not?”He shrugged as if it was obvious and she remembered that earlier he had declared, “I’m not normal.” She had to admit it was hard to picture this strange man living a normal family life in an average community. His differences were stamped all over his body as well as hidden deep inside him.”