“How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb? The plum tree in the garden!”

“If a tree falls in the forest and it hits a mime, would he make a noise?”

“Consider this:1. Would you ride in a car whose driver was on the consciousness-expanding "entheogenic" drug LSD?And here's a bonus question:2. Why does an "expanded consciousness" include the inability to operate a motor vehicle?”

“If you want to believe in reincarnation, you have to believe that this life, what you're living through right now, is the afterlife. You're missing out on the afterlife you looked forward to in your last existence by worrying about your next life. This is what happens after you die. Take a look.”

“The state of ambiguity - that messy, greasy, mixed-up, confused, and awful situation you're living through right now - is enlightenment itself.”

“Reality's all you've got. But here's the real secret, the real miracle: it's enough.”

“You won’t understand life and death until you’re ready to set aside any hope of understanding life and death and just live your life until you die.”