“The reason girls can't find a good guy is because they look in the wrong places. Go to a library. Guys at a party are just looking for the next girl to fuck.”

“What wasdat, sir? What wazzat sir? What wassat, sir?”“Wayne, what are you babbling about?” Waxillium asked.“Practicing my pretzel guy,” Wayne said. “He had a great accent...”Waxillium glanced at him. "That hat looks ridiculous.”“Fortunately, I can change hats,” Wayne said in the pretzel-guy accent, “while you, sir, are stuck with that face.”

“A reasonable looking guy with a sense of humour to go to parties with: surely that´s not too much to ask, is it?”

“Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs. ”

“Rachel had decided he WAS handsome during their hike to the camp. Though the way he kept telling her to speak more quietly or to look where she was going was annoying. By the time they finally got there, she was beginning to think his looks were his only good attribute.”

“I think we should probably get Vanessa out of the Quiet Box to help us. What do you guys say?''Absolutely,' Newel affirmed. 'Best idea I've heard all day.''I'll second that,' Doren said gladly.Seth gave the satyrs a doubtful scowl. 'Wait a minute. You guys just think she's pretty.''I've been around a long time,' Newel said. 'Vanessa Santoro is not jut pretty.''He's right,' Doren agreed. 'She's walking dynamite. My pulse is rising just talking about her.''She also might be a traitor,' Seth stressed.'The lethal temptress,' Newel said with relish. 'Even better.''It will definitely spice up the adventure,' Doren encouraged.'I'm obviously talking to wrong guys,' Seth sighed.'Believe me,' Newel said cockily. 'you're talking to the right guys. We've been chasing babes since the world was flat.'Seth rolled his eyes.”

“All five hundred boys want to go out with the same ten anorexic girls." She said, "I'm a good musician, but not many guys are looking for a girl that plays great Bach preludes.”