“Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see is our flawed selves, alone and struggling.(page 68)”

“When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.”

“We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.”

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.”

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”

“If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.”

“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”