“We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.”

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”

“Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see is our flawed selves, alone and struggling.(page 68)”

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.”

“You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.”

“If we are going to find our way out of shame and back to each other, vulnerability is the path and courage is the light. To set down those lists of *what we're supposed to be* is brave. To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.”

“If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.”