“You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.”

“We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.”

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”

“Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see is our flawed selves, alone and struggling.(page 68)”

“Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.”

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.”

“If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.”