“If embarrassment were a muscle, I'd be huge.”

“Well, you're not [fat]. You have, like, the ideal balance of fat and muscle. ...If I were a cannibal, I'd eat you.”

“Myth: Vampires have huge stockpiles of gold and treasure.Truth: If that were true, I'd be able to get my dad to actually buy me a car. ”

“Roarke: The bodies of the three men were found floating in the Chattahoochee River.Eve: I think it'd be embarrassing to be dead in the Hoochie-Coochie River.Roarke: ChattahoocheeEve: What's the difference?Roarke: Quite a bit, I'd think.”

“Seeing him like this, dressed just for her in so patent a manner, she could not hold back the fiery blush that rose to her face. She was embarrassed when she greeted him, and he was more embarrassed by her embarrassment. The knowledge that they were behaving as if they were sweethearts was even more embarrassing, and the knowledge that they were both embarrassed embarrassed them so much that Captain Samaritano noticed it with a tremor of compassion.”

“If I could, I'd write a huge encyclopedia just about the words luck and coincidence”