“Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.”

“When Chuck Norris stands in front of a mirror it shatters because the mirror knows never to stand between CHUCK NORRIS and CHUCK NORRIS.”

“Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.”

“Chuck Norris would totally hit that.”

“Just deleting vandalism on the Chuck Norris page," Radar said. "For instance, while I do think that Chuck Norris specializes in the roundhouse kick, I don't think it's accurate to say, 'Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but unfortunately he has never cried.”

“Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.”

“Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both.”