“They're horrible little creatures. All snot and smelly feet and pestering questions.""Then why did you go into teaching?""It was either that or sit at home with Mother all day. I picked the lesser of two evils.”

“Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. Next time, go all out and write in Lucifer on the ballot.”

“Get us into Azmodea. (Jericho)Why in the name of smelly feet would you want to go there again?! (Asmodeus)”

“What a shame," signed the Dodecahedron. "They're so very useful. Why, did you know that if a beaver two feet long with a tail a foot and a half long can build a dam twelve feet high and six feet wide in two days, all you would need to build Boulder Dam is a beaver sixty-eight feet long with a fifty-one-foot tail?""Where would you find a beaver that big?" grumbled the Humbug as his pencil point snapped."I'm sure I don't know," he replied, "but if you did, you'd certainly know what to do with him.""That's absurd," objected Milo, whose head was spinning from all the numbers and questions."That may be true," he acknowledged, "but it's completely accurate, and as long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong? If you want sense, you'll have to make it yourself.”

“The lesser of two evils was still evil.”

“Here are the Top Ten things that your parents say to you:-Is that all you're going to do all day, sit in front of the computer?-When I was your age I had two jobs.-Why don't you wear some clothes that fir for a change?-Turn it down. I can hear it all the way over here.-You're not eating that for dinner.-Did you do your homework?-Stop mumbling and speak up.-Now what did you do?-Because I said so.-No.”