“Hey, lay off the dairy. And uh, no more happiness.”

“I have to lay off dairy though. That's what my doctor threw in. As I was leaving his office, "Oh, and uh, leave off dairy." What kind of blanket sweep is that? "And no more happiness! Away with you!”

“Hey, God, did I do something to piss you off? Because I'm starting to think you enjoy twisting the knife in my heart every chance you get. If too much happiness dares to encroach on my life, does some siren go off up there? Uh-oh, Gray's too happy right now. We can't have that. Time to shit all over his life again.”

“We should never present flesh as somehow morally distinguishable from dairy. To the extent it is morally wrong to eat flesh, it is as morally wrong — and possibly more morally wrong — to consume dairy”

“Hey, uh, you know. Um. If you’re alive, uh, call me." I looked at the screen and said, "It's Jane." I closed the phone, thinking, Lame. I am so lame.”

“I realized he had my car keys.“Hey, where did you get those?”“We found your purse at the Dairy Queen.”“How did you know it was there?”“The GPS.” He smirked, seeming more like the Jared I knew.“You have a GPS tracker on my car?”