“Mom!" Becca stared at her. "You think—you think I'm dating Michael?"Her mom stared back at her, obviously thrown. "You're not?"This would be hilarious if her mom didn't look so serious."Oh my god," cried Becca. "Are you kidding? Michael is the last person I would ever—oh my god. I wouldn't go out with him if someone paid me. Ugh, that's just—""You know I can hear you, right?" called Michael.”

“Claire: Seriously? My mom? Let you in my room? In the middle of the night?Michael: Moms like me.”

“Ooh that’s him!” my mom cried jumping up and down.“Why don’t you date him, mom? You seem to really like him,” I smiled.She stopped jumping. “Oh, I couldn’t. He’s much too young for me,” she laughed wickedly and went to get the door.“Haven’t you ever heard of cougars!” I yelled after her. Sloane and her mom Tammi”

“I help up my left hand. The sapphire and diamonds sparkled.“Oh my God,” my mom said and fell out of her chair.“Mom? Mom!” I said getting worried. “I’m okay,” she said and her hand appeared on the screen as she climbed back into the kitchen chair. “You just gave me quite a shock. I wasn’t expecting that. Engaged?” she panted.Sloane and Tammi”

“Oh my God!" Julia yells. "Are you kidding me, Will? Don't help her put her clothes back on! I'm standing right here!"What the hell am I thinking?”

“I dropped my voice and stared into her eyes. I could tell she was trying hard not to look away. I was so furious I could have cheerfully ripped her head off. "But you're going to find out, Mom,' I said very softly."And it's gonna give you nightmares for the rest of your wasted life."Oh, my God, I was so badass. It was all I could do to not give a MWA HA HA!”