“If you're gonna leave, I wish you'd just leave. Why do you keep coming back if you're not going to stay? Because even when you're gone, you're never really gone... I won't get over it if you keep coming back. Losing you once was hard enough. And now you're here again and everything's coming back. I'm going to get screwed. And I can't do it again.”

“Are you okay?" I asked, distracted. I wanted back inside the vision."Nothing a little mouth-to-mouth won't cure," he said,but he couldn't muster the energy to laugh at his own joke. "You're no good for me,Nik," he said in between gasps."What do you mean?"His breathing slowed a little and he looked up at me. "I can't say no to you.”

“Cole, do you feel anything for me?" I don't know what made me ask this, except that Jack had asked him the night of the Tunnels. It obviously surprised him.He backed up. "What?"I inched forward, not quite sure I was going with this. "Do you feel...something for me?"He was quiet, still as a statue, so I moved even closer. "Don't, Nik." His gaze dropped to the ground."If you feel anything, please leave me alone. I don't know why I survived. I don't have your answer. Shadowing me will get you nothing."Then he did something unexpected. He backed down, and as he turned around to his motorcycle, he shook his head and mumbled, "What have you done to me?""I don't know," I said. "But you have ninety-nine years to figure it out."He kicked it on and revved the engine, and at the sound, he found his cocky smirk again. "That's a long time, Nik. Jack is gone, and I'm here. Let's see who gives up first.”

“What would it take to get you to leave me alone?""I think you know exactly what it would take.""What if I make you a deal?"His eyebrows wrinkled. "A deal?"Lowering my voice,I said, "What if I promise to go with you,but not until right before the Tunnels come?" I took a step closer in my sudden enthusiasm, and he backed up. "As long as I go with you before the Tunnels actually come, it will work.If you give me these last moments with Jack alone, I'll go with you."I tried not to let my face show the lie I was telling.His face went blank,then it broke out in a wide grin. "Golly, do you pinky swear?" he said sarcastically. When I didn't answer,he continued, "Your little plan would involve me taking quite a bit of faith.You're not exactly a safe bet."I guess I wasn't surprised. But I was so tired of Cole. I looked him directly in the eye. "If you can tell when I'm lying, you should know without a doubt when I'm telling the truth." I put my face even closer to his. "Here's the truth. I.Will.Never.Ever.Go with you."Cole's eyes became tight,and then I saw something on his face I'd never seen before.Genuine pain.I took in a short breath of surprise, but I stood my ground. If the hurt on his face was as real as it looked, maybe that's what it would take to get him to back down.”

“So you're really going to the dance?"I nodded as I sipped from the mug."Alone?""Not technically.There should be other people there too."He raised his eyebrows. "Did my sullen daughter just make a joke?" I smiled as he gave a chuckle. "You always used to make jokes when you were nervous," he said. His smile disappeared and he put a hand on my arm. "Are you nervous?"He knew me better than I thought. "A little.""Then why are you doing? I mean, won't most everyone there have dates?" He cleared his throat. "Because Tommy and I have a mean game of Uno planned."I hugged him. "Thanks,Dad. Wish me luck.”

“Jack,do me a favor?" I said."Anything,Becks.""Don't let go of my hand. And if the Tunnels come for me,don't let go until the last moment.""If the Tunnels come for you,I'll hold on, and they won't be able to take you."I smiled at the sentiment, even though I knew that no one would be able to hold on.”

“I decided to write a myth.""Have you figured out a topic? A moral conundrum?""Yes.""What is it?"I heard Jack's chair creak."It's about how there's no such thing as redemption," I whispered. "How you deserve what you get,and no higher power can save you."Mrs. Stone didn't answer immediately. The only sound in the room came from my own breathing. "What about heroes?"I hunched over and scribbled a few lines on my notebook. "There are no heroes." Sure,it wasn't an optimistic paper,but it was the only thing I could write passionately about.She was quiet for a moment again. When she spoke,her voice was gentle. "Okay. I'm excited to see what you put together."I nodded."And,Mr. Caputo? Everything going well with the personal essay?"I could only assume he nodded, because Mrs. Stone returned to the front of the classroom. My right hand started to tremble,and I clenched my pencil and began scribbling."You don't really believe that, do you?" Jack's voice was soft.I lifted my head, allowing my eyes to meet his for the first time in weeks. "It doesn't matter what I believe." I looked down at my notebook."Wait," he said.I turned back. "What?"He shrugged,then spoke in a low murmur. "Just stop hiding behind your hair for a minute."I closed my eyes,but I didn't turn away. "You're making things difficult, Jack Caputo," I whispered."At least you remember my name."I remembered everything. The first time he called me his girlfriend. The first time he told me he loved me. The first time I started to question whether or not I'd be able to hold on to him.The first time I knew I had to come back to see him again, at whatever cost.”