“Jack didn't try to speak to me the following day. Or the day after.Or the day after that.But he was in Mrs. Stone's classroom, in the seat next to mine, every day for an hour after school, the only sounds coming from our pencils scratching against our papers. And the days passed like this quickly. Too quickly.I stole glances at him.Sometimes he tucked his hair behind one ear, but mostly it hung loose around his face. Sometimes he had stubble,as if he were shaving every other day.Sometimes I was sure he could feel me staring.His lip would twitch,and I'd know he was about to turn toward me,so I would hurry and look at my paper.And sometimes I would read the same sentence in the textbook over and over, and at the end of the hour, the only thing I'd learned was that Jack liked to tap his eraser on his desk when he was stumped, and when he would stretch forward,his shirt lifted,exposing a tiny bit of skin on his back.”
“I think I'll say goodnight here," Jack said."My dad's not so bad.""Oh yeah,he was great...right up until the time I started dating his daughter."I'd seen how my dad had become considerably colder toward Jack. There were little clues,like the other evening when out of nowhere he told Jack about how every football player he went to high school with had gotten fat after graduation.We'd been talking about what to make for dinner."Okay," I said. "Maybe next time." I leaned over to peck him on the cheek, but he grabbed my face in both of his hands and kissed me. His breath tasted like the mints the chaperones had passed out when the dance was over, and when he parted his lips against mine, I shivered, but not because of the cold. I pressed against him even more and hoped the dark inside the car obscured my dad's view.But I knew better than to push it.As I was about to break away,Jack put his hands behind my waist and pulled me even closer,practically lifting me over the center console,so I was sitting in his lap.I pulled back. "My dad's going to love that-"He put his finger over my lips, cutting me off. "Please don't talk about your dad when I'm kissing you. Besides, unless he's enacted a law against it-""Which he may well do after tonight," I interrupted.He smiled and then brought my face to his again for a few moments before finally releasing me."After that kiss,we'd better dream of the same thing tonight," he said with a smirk.My face got even warmer,but I tried to speak in a calm voice. "I'll probably dream my usual dream,where I show up to school without any clothes on.""Me too." Jack chuckled.I gave his shoulder a playful shove.”
“Cole. Know this now. I will never forget what you've done for me. Never. Do you hear me?He nodded, but I could see he was crumbling, as if finding Jack would put an end to everything he wanted. Because it would. I placed my hands on either side of his face and brought his lips to mine in a light kiss.”
“Do you get it now,Becks?" Jack wrapped a finger around a long strand of my hair, and we were quiet as it slipped through his grip."You haven't moved on?"He chuckled. "I have a lifetime of memories made up of chestnut wars and poker games and midnight excursions and Christmas Dances...It's all you. It's only ever been you.I love you." The last part seemed to escape his lips unintentionally, and afterward he closed his eyes and put his head in his hands,as if he had a sudden headache. "I've gotta not say that out loud."The sight of how messed up he was made me want to wrap my arms around him and fold him into me and cushion him from everything that lay ahead.Instead,I reached for his hand. Brought it to my lips. Kissed it.He raised his head and winced. "You shouldn't do that," he said, even though he didn't pull his hand away."Why?""Because...it'll make everything worse...If you don't feel-"His voice cut off as I kissed his hand again, pausing with his fingers at my lips. He let out a shaky sigh and his hair flopped forward. Then he looked at my lips for a long moment. "What if...?"I bit my lower lip. "What?""What if we could be like this again?" He leaned in closer with a smile, and as he did,he said, "Are you going to steal my soul?""Um...it's not technically your soul that..."I couldn't finish my sentence. His lips brushed mine, and I felt the whoosh of transferring emotions,but it wasn't as strong as the last time. The space inside me was practically full again. The Shades were right. Six months was just long enough to recover.He kept his lips touching mine when he asked, "Is it okay?"Okay in that I wasn't going to suck him dry anymore. Not okay in that my own emotions were in hyperdrive. Only our lips touched.Thankfully there was space between us everywhere else.He took my silence to mean it was safe. We held our lips together, tentative and still.But he didn't let it stay that casual for long.He pressed his lips closer, parting his mouth against mine. I shivered,and he put his arms around me and pulled me closer so that our bodies were touching in so many places.He pulled back a little.His breath was on my lips."What is it?" I asked."I dreamed of you every night." He briefly touched his lips to mine again. "It felt so real.And when I'd wake up the next morning,it was like your disappearance was fresh. Like you'd left me all over again."I lowered my chin and tucked my head into his chest. "I'm sorry."He sighed and tightened his grip around me. "It never got easier.But the dreams themselves." I felt him shake his head. "It's like I had a physical connection to you. They were so real. Every night,you were in my room with me. It was so real."I tilted my head back so I could face him again, realizing for the first time how difficult it must've been for Jack. I kissed his chin, his cheek, and then his lips. "I'm sorry," I said again.He shook his head. "It's not your fault I dreamed of you, Becks.I just want to know if it was as real as it felt.""I don't know," I said. But I told him about the book I'd read on Orpheus and Eurydice, and my theory that it was her connection to Orpheus that saved her.”
“So,Jules gets a smile,huh?"I could feel his eyes on me,waiting for a response. He hadn't tried to talk to me since that first day,and his voice directed at me again did strange things to me.Made my stomach flutter. Of course, Jack had always had that power over me.I kept my eyes down,but I couldn't stop my lips from turning upward."I see that," he said.Jack always saw everything.”
“Making your own T-shirts? Don't you have people for that?" I asked. "Like professionals?""Well,I usually travel with an army of professional T-shirt makers, but today I thought I'd go it alone."Jack didn't take his eyes off me as Cole spoke. I wasn't sure he was even listening,or aware Cole was there."What are the screens for?" I asked."Elvis Presley as a corpse.You wanna come look?" Cole gave me a grin as if he'd just asked if I wanted to see rainbows being made."You had me at 'corpse.'"Jack chuckled. "Saying good-bye here. Remember?"I turned to Jack, rose up on my tiptoes, and kissed his lips lightly. "Two weeks,Jack. It'll fly by."I started to back up,but Jack grabbed my hand and pulled me close. "No you don't," he said. "The corpse can wait."He gave me a kiss that was not quite appropriate for public view,and I would've been embarrassed if I hadn't lost the ability to think straight. His arms reached around my back,and he pulled me in tight against him so that my feet were barely touching the ground. And things started disappearing around us,just like they did every time Jack kissed me.He pulled back. "What were you saying about two weeks?""That it will feel like forever," I said, breathless."That's better." Jack lowered his head so his forehead was touching mine. "Miss you.""Miss you too," I whispered.”
“Jack took me to the Christmas Dance.It snowed the day of the dance, making the Meier Farmhouse and Dance Hall look like something out of a painting, the lights on the roof glowing under sheets of white. And when Jack led me onto the dance floor and grasped one of my hands and tugged it up behind his neck, then placed his arm around my back, soft and low, I thought life couldn't get better.He pulled me close against him, our hands clasped next to his chest.The cedar from the farmhouse mingled with Jack's aftershave,making a sweet, rustic scent."Becks,remember the first time we met?" he asked,his lips grazing my ear.Of course I remembered. The events of that day were permanently etched into my brain. "You mean,the time you nearly beheaded me with a baseball?""I had to do something to get the new girl's attention.""A simple 'hello' would have worked."He pulled me in tighter, as if that were possible. "Why did we wait so long to do this?""Um, because you were making your way through the entire cheerleading squad?"He looked at me for a few moments, then shook his head and leaned in to brush his lips along my shoulder.I closed my eyes. If this was what I could expect for the rest of my high school years,I never wanted to graduate.Ever.”