“Now you've done it." His tone was quietly playful.I couldn't help it.I looked up at him questioningly."You've added a third word to your repitoire. Hi,thanks,and now yes." His lips turned up at the corners,and the heat rushed to my face. He noticed. "At least that much hasn't changed."I turned back to my notebook,my hands trembling.He leaned toward me. "Now that we have our first conversation out of the way, do you want to tell me where you've been?" From the way he spoke I knew his smile was gone.I could feel little beads of sweat form on my forehead."You left me.Without a word," he said. He sounded tentative, as if he were trying to keep his voice even. I took in a deep breath,but I couldn't figure out what he was feeling. There wasn't one singular emotion that was stronger than the others. "Don't you have anything to say to me?"He waited. My heart felt like it would burst through my chest into a million little pieces,and I could see this wasn't going to work.I started to close my book."Don't-" he blurted, and I froze. "Don't go.You don't have to talk to me.I'm the one who should go." His voice sounded achingly sad. I could hear him packing his bag.Say something.Say something. "Um..."Jack paused, as if further movement might stop my words.He was the reason I came back.I couldn't scare him off. As hard as it would be to talk to him,it would be much harder to watch him walk out that door. "No," I said. I took a shaky breath. "You don't...have to leave. Please."He took his book back out and put it on his desk. I followed,setting my own books out."Thank you," Jack whispered.We didn't talk for the rest of the hour.”

“You've never been in love?"He let out a quiet breath,and I felt him shake his head. "Easy to say. Harder to feel." He ran his fingers through my hair and tucked a few strands behind my ear. With a light voice, he said, "Out of curiosity, what would you have said if I wanted to...""I would've said no.""Yeah?"I nodded. "I'm glad you didn't, because that would have been awkward."His chest shuddered with laughter.”

“Do you get it now,Becks?" Jack wrapped a finger around a long strand of my hair, and we were quiet as it slipped through his grip."You haven't moved on?"He chuckled. "I have a lifetime of memories made up of chestnut wars and poker games and midnight excursions and Christmas Dances...It's all you. It's only ever been you.I love you." The last part seemed to escape his lips unintentionally, and afterward he closed his eyes and put his head in his hands,as if he had a sudden headache. "I've gotta not say that out loud."The sight of how messed up he was made me want to wrap my arms around him and fold him into me and cushion him from everything that lay ahead.Instead,I reached for his hand. Brought it to my lips. Kissed it.He raised his head and winced. "You shouldn't do that," he said, even though he didn't pull his hand away."Why?""Because...it'll make everything worse...If you don't feel-"His voice cut off as I kissed his hand again, pausing with his fingers at my lips. He let out a shaky sigh and his hair flopped forward. Then he looked at my lips for a long moment. "What if...?"I bit my lower lip. "What?""What if we could be like this again?" He leaned in closer with a smile, and as he did,he said, "Are you going to steal my soul?""Um...it's not technically your soul that..."I couldn't finish my sentence. His lips brushed mine, and I felt the whoosh of transferring emotions,but it wasn't as strong as the last time. The space inside me was practically full again. The Shades were right. Six months was just long enough to recover.He kept his lips touching mine when he asked, "Is it okay?"Okay in that I wasn't going to suck him dry anymore. Not okay in that my own emotions were in hyperdrive. Only our lips touched.Thankfully there was space between us everywhere else.He took my silence to mean it was safe. We held our lips together, tentative and still.But he didn't let it stay that casual for long.He pressed his lips closer, parting his mouth against mine. I shivered,and he put his arms around me and pulled me closer so that our bodies were touching in so many places.He pulled back a little.His breath was on my lips."What is it?" I asked."I dreamed of you every night." He briefly touched his lips to mine again. "It felt so real.And when I'd wake up the next morning,it was like your disappearance was fresh. Like you'd left me all over again."I lowered my chin and tucked my head into his chest. "I'm sorry."He sighed and tightened his grip around me. "It never got easier.But the dreams themselves." I felt him shake his head. "It's like I had a physical connection to you. They were so real. Every night,you were in my room with me. It was so real."I tilted my head back so I could face him again, realizing for the first time how difficult it must've been for Jack. I kissed his chin, his cheek, and then his lips. "I'm sorry," I said again.He shook his head. "It's not your fault I dreamed of you, Becks.I just want to know if it was as real as it felt.""I don't know," I said. But I told him about the book I'd read on Orpheus and Eurydice, and my theory that it was her connection to Orpheus that saved her.”

“Jack was behind it,waiting, with the corner of his lip pulled up in not quite a smile. "What?" he demanded."What what?" I asked.He held my note up in front of my face. "What do you remember?"Everything. But I couldn't tell him that. I shrugged and said, "Things." Then I made a move to leave,but Jack's strong arm blocked my way,his hand pressing against the locker behind my back."No you don't.You can't leave a note like this"-he waved the paper-"and then say 'things.' I want to know what, exactly, you remember."People in the hallway stared and I could feel my face going red. Jack noticed, and put his other arm up against the lockers,blocking me in. My pulse went nuts.It had to be visible on my wrists.Jack's face was inches from mine. His breath was minty, and I could smell the rustic scent of his aftershave,and whatever strong emotion he was feeling, it tasted sweet. I breathed it in, and the inhalation was embarrassingly loud.His eyes searched mine. "This is the first opening you've given me, and I'm not letting you get out of it." He paused. "What do you remember?"I looked behind him, at the curious spectators, and squinted my eyes shut, unable to bear the scrutiny anymore."Say something,Becks. Say anything.""You," I said. "I remember you." I kept my eyes shut,and felt his hands drop. He didn't move back."What do you remember about me?" There was strong emotion behind his voice. Something he fought to control.With my eyes closed,I could easily picture the other side of the century. "I remember the way your hand could cover my entire shoulder. The way your lower lip stuck out when you were working out a problem in your head. And how you flick you ring finger with your thumb when you get impatient."I opened my eyes,and the words no longer got stuck in my throat on their way out. They flowed. "And when something surprises you and you don't know what to say,you get a tiny wrinkle in between your eyebrows." I reached up to touch the divot,then hesitated and lowered my hand. "It showed on the day the coach told you you'd made first-string quarterback.And it's showing now."For a moment the space between us held no tension,no questions, no accusations. Finally he leaned back, a stunned expression on his face. "Where do we go from here?""Nowhere,really," I whispered. "It doesn't change anything."Eyebrows still drawn together, he said, "We'll see." Then he turned and left.I tucked this moment away.In the dark,dank world of the Tunnels, I would call upon this memory. And there would be a flicker of candlelight. If only for a moment.I closed my eyes,as if my eyelids were the levers of a printing press,etching the fibers into my mind.Memories were outside Cole's reach.As long as I held them,memories were mine and mine alone.”

“Cole, do you feel anything for me?" I don't know what made me ask this, except that Jack had asked him the night of the Tunnels. It obviously surprised him.He backed up. "What?"I inched forward, not quite sure I was going with this. "Do you feel...something for me?"He was quiet, still as a statue, so I moved even closer. "Don't, Nik." His gaze dropped to the ground."If you feel anything, please leave me alone. I don't know why I survived. I don't have your answer. Shadowing me will get you nothing."Then he did something unexpected. He backed down, and as he turned around to his motorcycle, he shook his head and mumbled, "What have you done to me?""I don't know," I said. "But you have ninety-nine years to figure it out."He kicked it on and revved the engine, and at the sound, he found his cocky smirk again. "That's a long time, Nik. Jack is gone, and I'm here. Let's see who gives up first.”

“Jack,I've messed up enough of you life.There's nothing you can do about Cole.I'll handle him. You don't have to-""Enough,Becks.This is what friends do. Before we got together, we were friends, remember? The friendship is still there,isn't it?"I didn't say anything for a moment. It was so much more than friendship on my side. Despite everything,I'd never stopped loving him."Isn't it,Becks? I mean,you didn't completely forget about me in the Everneath,did you?""No." Wasn't it obvious on my face? That he was the only thing I remembered? My memories of Jack should've been etched on my skin by now, for all the world to see."Okay.Friends talk.Friends help each other."I nodded."Friends don't eat friends' souls."I smiled. "Got it.""Can I ask you something else?""Of course.""Why did you finally decide to tell me the truth?"I traced my finger along the lip of my coffee mug. "It's probably nothing, but Cole seems anxious to keep me away from you in particular. I wanted to see how he'd react, and maybe that would give me an idea as to why."He grimaced. "I have an idea.""What?""He's in love with you."I wrinkled my forehead. "No he's not. He's not capable."Jack leaned forward. "Trust me, Becks. I know exactly what loving you looks like on a person.And he loves you."My face went warm and I looked away. If only Jack were talking about now,and not before. I shook my head. "There has to be something more to it."Jack put his chin on the palm of his hand. "Well,let's find out.""How?"Jack raised his eyes to meet mine, a shy little smile on his face, so different from his usual confident grin. "We'll spend time together. And let Cole know it.”

“Wow.You two seem to be right as rain again," Cole said from behind us. I could hear the undercurrent of rage beneath his voice. "I hate to interrupt this sudden case of the touchy-feelies, but with the three of us standing here, it almost feels like that spring day so long ago.Almost as if Jack hand't left for camp.Almost as if Jack had nothing to do with you going under,Nik."Jack winced, but he kept his eyes on me."You should've seen her.Did you know that when she left your dorm that night, she came straight to me? Begged to go with me. Barely able to breathe for the pain." He enunciated each word.I studied Jack's face and shook my head. Jack dropped his arm from my shoulders. "You never let me explain. I ran to you,but you drove off.You didn't trust me."There was silence for a few long moments. "Would either of you care to know my opinion?" Cole said."Shut up," we replied at the same time.Cole shrugged. "You know where to find me." He turned and walked across the parking lot to the sidewalk that led around the corner of the post office. I watched him until he disappeared, than I faced Jack again.Jack rougly ran both of his hands through his hair. "This is a mess." It sounded like he was talking to himself, not to me. "I know how it looked, but you should've let me explain. I hated you for leaving." He looked up at the sky. "I hated you."Jack took a step backward, away from me, and as he did,a voice called out to us. "Don't let him drive you apart!"We both turned toward the sound. Mary was sitting on a bench under the shelter of the bus stop. I hadnt noticed her before.She'd been watching us.She stood and came over. "That's what he wants. He's scared of anchors. I told you I have a theory about anchors.”