“We'd pluck the spiky chestnuts, leaving their green outer shells intact, and throw them at the neighbor boys.I always took particular care in aiming for Jack's head. He told me later that he rode his bike by my house on purpose. I asked him if he liked pain.”

“You were broken before I ever took you to the Everneath.Remember how you were when you showed up on my doorstep? That had nothing to do with me.You came broken and that was the fault of this world.Not mine."I nodded again,a little less aggressively. "Why do you care if I get hurt?"All he said was, "I hate to see it.Whether you go with me or not,I don't like you getting hurt." But his face seemed to say more.As if there were something he wasn't telling me.Before I could ask him about it,his iPhone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out,read the screen, and then walked over to the window. "We'll finish this later.""Tell me why you care," I said.He put his hands on the windowsill. "Because it's you. Despite what you think of me,your pain will always be my pain.""There has to be more to it than that. What aren't you telling me,Cole?"He grinned. "How are you so good at reading me when you can't read anyone else around you?" He sighed, and as he climbed out the window,he said, "I love it.”

“Wow.You two seem to be right as rain again," Cole said from behind us. I could hear the undercurrent of rage beneath his voice. "I hate to interrupt this sudden case of the touchy-feelies, but with the three of us standing here, it almost feels like that spring day so long ago.Almost as if Jack hand't left for camp.Almost as if Jack had nothing to do with you going under,Nik."Jack winced, but he kept his eyes on me."You should've seen her.Did you know that when she left your dorm that night, she came straight to me? Begged to go with me. Barely able to breathe for the pain." He enunciated each word.I studied Jack's face and shook my head. Jack dropped his arm from my shoulders. "You never let me explain. I ran to you,but you drove off.You didn't trust me."There was silence for a few long moments. "Would either of you care to know my opinion?" Cole said."Shut up," we replied at the same time.Cole shrugged. "You know where to find me." He turned and walked across the parking lot to the sidewalk that led around the corner of the post office. I watched him until he disappeared, than I faced Jack again.Jack rougly ran both of his hands through his hair. "This is a mess." It sounded like he was talking to himself, not to me. "I know how it looked, but you should've let me explain. I hated you for leaving." He looked up at the sky. "I hated you."Jack took a step backward, away from me, and as he did,a voice called out to us. "Don't let him drive you apart!"We both turned toward the sound. Mary was sitting on a bench under the shelter of the bus stop. I hadnt noticed her before.She'd been watching us.She stood and came over. "That's what he wants. He's scared of anchors. I told you I have a theory about anchors.”

“Thats not what I mean." He seemed flustered. Very un Jack-like. "I just mean...What do I mean?""Are you asking me?"He nodded, now completely at a loss.I tilted my head, thrilled to see that even Jack could get flustered. "Maybe you mean, 'Hey Becks, you have such natural beauty, even without effort you shine like the stars.'"He stared at me and nodded slowly. Which was not the reaction I'd been expecting. For the first time since I'd known Jack, he looked...vulnerable. And I was the person who could hurt him. What was going on?”

“He took a deep breath and held out his hand. "We got off to a bad start, but you're obviously a friend of Becks's."Cole stared at his hand,stumped. He looked at me like, What the hell am I supposed to do with this? I'd never seen him so baffled.It was almost comical.Then the second-to-last thing that I ever would have anticipated happened. Cole took Jack's hand and shook it. "I'm Neal.""Jack." Jack briefly glanced sideways at me. "I'll try not to hit you again."Cole and Jack, shaking hands. I covered my eyes with my fingers,wondering when the world had officially tipped over onto its side.When I lowered my hand, they were both looking at me.I'd had enough awkward."Let's go," I said, tugging on Jack's arm.Cole frowned and looked away. "Take care of our girl," he muttered sarcastically.”

“How did you know to turn back?" I said.With his head still down, he said, "I waited for you.""But its a race. Why did you wait for me?"He lifted his head so that his eyes met mine. "I always wait for you." He took a deep breath, my ankle still in his hands. "I'm always waiting for you."In an embarrassingly breathless voice that didn't sound like my own, I said, "Because I'm so slow?"He smiled. "Yes. But not in the way that you think.”

“Why didn't you tell me?""I know you won't believe it, but I thought it would be best for you. You were doing so well until I came back. I thought you could go back to how it was. You still can.""Don't say that,Becks.We're going to figure something out.""I know.Even so,I understand that it would've been easier for you if I'd never come back.Maybe you and Jules..."His grip on my arm tightened,and when he spoke,his voice wavered. "Becks. I crashed when you left.Jules held together the pieces,and I will love her forever for that.But if I was with her, it wouldn't be right." He grimaced. "She told me so herself, right before I left with Will. She knew." Jack pushed my hair out of my eyes and off my forehead."Um,she knew what?" I could barely hear my own voice."It's always been you,Becks. Nothing will change that,no matter how much time has passed." He glanced down. "No matter if you feel the same way or not. You know what,right?"I shook my head slowly,wanting desperately to believe him, but not sure if I could."How can you not see that? Everyone sees it." He slid his hand down my arm and grabbed my fingers, holding them in his lip,tracing them. Staring at them. "Remember freshman year? How Bozeman asked you to the Spring Fling?"Bozeman. He was two years older than me. Played offensive lineman. His first name was Zachary, but nobody had called him that since the third grade. I'd been surprised he even knew my name, let alone asked me to the dance."Of course I remember.You came with me to answer him." We doorbell-ditched Bozeman's house, leaving a two-liter bottle of Coke and a note that said I'd pop to go to the dance with you, or something like that. Bozeman had a reputation for fast hands, but he didn't try anything with me. In fact,he barely touched me at all, even at the fling.And he never asked me out again.Or even talked to me, really.It was weird."Yeah,well,I didn't tell you, but Bozeman actually asked my permission.""Why?""Because it was obvious to everyone, except you,how I felt about you.And then that night with the Coke on the porch...after I dropped you off at home, I paid Bozeman a visit." His cheeks went pink and he lowered his eyes."And?""Let's just say I rescinded my permission. I didn't realize how much it would bother me." His eyes met mine.I could only imagine what was said between Jack and the lineman, who was twice his size."Don't be mad," Jack said. Like I'd be angry after everything we'd been through. "I...I'm telling you this because you have to know that it's always been you. And it will always be you.”