“When I was in the Everneath, I thought about Jack every day. Every minute. Even after I'd forgotten his name, the image of his face made me feel whole again. Was Jack the reason I'd survived? Were our ties to the Surface what somehow kept us whole?The one problem in the anchor theory was Meredith.She had a connection with her mom,yet she didn't survive. But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized Mrs. Jenkins didn't have a similar connection to Meredith. She forgot about Meredith the second the Feed began.Then it hit me.Orpheus didn't forget about Eurydice.He loved her the entire time she was gone. Maybe the attachment between Forfeit and anchor worked only when it went both ways.The drinking fountain next to me shuddered to life as a flash of intuition hit me.I knew now that Jack never forgot about me.He'd never stopped loving me.He was the anchor that saved me.And now he was gone.”
“The thing was,I knew exactly how I had survived.Mary had been on to something with her anchor theory,but she was a little unclear on the logistics. Jack told me he dreamed of me every night, and it was as if I were really there. I was in a dark place,and he helped me see.Now Jack was invading my dreams every night. Not a dream Jack,but the real thing.I know this because during one of the first dreams, he told me what the tattoo on his arm said. Ever Yours. The next morning,I rushed to draw the image from memory, and then I researched it.The symbols were artistic versions of ancient Sanskrit words.They stood for eternity and belonging. Ever Yours, just as Jack had said. There was no way my subconscious could have come up with that explanation on its own.I'd finally found the connection Meredith had longed for,the tether from an anchor that kept a Forfeit alive. They were bound together through their dreams,sustaining each other during sleep.When I was asleep,Jack would come to my bedroom and sit on the end of the mattress and face me.He came to me every night,talking about his uncle's cabin, the Christmas Dance, how my hair hides my eyes,how my hand fits in his, how he loves me.How he'll never leave. I spent the first few dreams saying "I'm sorry" over and over and over, until he threatened to stay away if I didn't stop.”
“I told him about how Cole wanted me to return with him.I told him almost everything. I didn't talk about what had happened just before I left with Cole and I didn't tell him that the Tunnels of the Everneath were coming for me soon. Jack would freak out if he knew I was leaving again, and I didn't want to waste time trying to convince him it was hopeless.I didn't tell him I'd thought of him every day. That even when every other memory had faded,he never left.”
“Did you forgive her?"I looked at her with a start.Jack dropped his salad back in the bucket. "What?""Did you forgive Nikki?""Umm,Mary,I don't think you-" I started, but Jack interrupted me."No,it's okay.What do you mean, Mary?" He spoke slowly. "Did I forgive Nikki for what?"Mary frowned and reached under the separation glass and touched Jack's gloved hand. "Did you forgive her for leaving you?"Jack's lower lip sank,and his eyebrows lifted.He looked like he was about to speak,but no words came out of his open mouth.Mary leaned even closer and whispered, "I have a theory. A theory about anchors.""Oh," Jack finally said,his forehead now creased with confusion. "Anchors."The people in line behind Mary shifted impatiently."Um,Mary,you're holding up the line," I said. Mary looked at me as I continued. "Why don't you go grab a table,and I'll eat with you."The tension slipped from her face. "Okay. But hurry. My tee time's at one."She started down the line again.Jack's hand still rested in the lettuce, so I nudged him with my elbow, and he seemed to restart. "Don't worry about her," I said. "She gets confused easily.""That wasn't confusion." Jack kept his eyes on my face as he served the salad. "It was like she knew me. Knew us.Did you talk to her about us?""Of course not.She also knows about anchors,apparently.And she's late for her tee time.None of it makes sense.”
“Jack,I've messed up enough of you life.There's nothing you can do about Cole.I'll handle him. You don't have to-""Enough,Becks.This is what friends do. Before we got together, we were friends, remember? The friendship is still there,isn't it?"I didn't say anything for a moment. It was so much more than friendship on my side. Despite everything,I'd never stopped loving him."Isn't it,Becks? I mean,you didn't completely forget about me in the Everneath,did you?""No." Wasn't it obvious on my face? That he was the only thing I remembered? My memories of Jack should've been etched on my skin by now, for all the world to see."Okay.Friends talk.Friends help each other."I nodded."Friends don't eat friends' souls."I smiled. "Got it.""Can I ask you something else?""Of course.""Why did you finally decide to tell me the truth?"I traced my finger along the lip of my coffee mug. "It's probably nothing, but Cole seems anxious to keep me away from you in particular. I wanted to see how he'd react, and maybe that would give me an idea as to why."He grimaced. "I have an idea.""What?""He's in love with you."I wrinkled my forehead. "No he's not. He's not capable."Jack leaned forward. "Trust me, Becks. I know exactly what loving you looks like on a person.And he loves you."My face went warm and I looked away. If only Jack were talking about now,and not before. I shook my head. "There has to be something more to it."Jack put his chin on the palm of his hand. "Well,let's find out.""How?"Jack raised his eyes to meet mine, a shy little smile on his face, so different from his usual confident grin. "We'll spend time together. And let Cole know it.”
“Jack didn't try to speak to me the following day. Or the day after.Or the day after that.But he was in Mrs. Stone's classroom, in the seat next to mine, every day for an hour after school, the only sounds coming from our pencils scratching against our papers. And the days passed like this quickly. Too quickly.I stole glances at him.Sometimes he tucked his hair behind one ear, but mostly it hung loose around his face. Sometimes he had stubble,as if he were shaving every other day.Sometimes I was sure he could feel me staring.His lip would twitch,and I'd know he was about to turn toward me,so I would hurry and look at my paper.And sometimes I would read the same sentence in the textbook over and over, and at the end of the hour, the only thing I'd learned was that Jack liked to tap his eraser on his desk when he was stumped, and when he would stretch forward,his shirt lifted,exposing a tiny bit of skin on his back.”
“Wow.You two seem to be right as rain again," Cole said from behind us. I could hear the undercurrent of rage beneath his voice. "I hate to interrupt this sudden case of the touchy-feelies, but with the three of us standing here, it almost feels like that spring day so long ago.Almost as if Jack hand't left for camp.Almost as if Jack had nothing to do with you going under,Nik."Jack winced, but he kept his eyes on me."You should've seen her.Did you know that when she left your dorm that night, she came straight to me? Begged to go with me. Barely able to breathe for the pain." He enunciated each word.I studied Jack's face and shook my head. Jack dropped his arm from my shoulders. "You never let me explain. I ran to you,but you drove off.You didn't trust me."There was silence for a few long moments. "Would either of you care to know my opinion?" Cole said."Shut up," we replied at the same time.Cole shrugged. "You know where to find me." He turned and walked across the parking lot to the sidewalk that led around the corner of the post office. I watched him until he disappeared, than I faced Jack again.Jack rougly ran both of his hands through his hair. "This is a mess." It sounded like he was talking to himself, not to me. "I know how it looked, but you should've let me explain. I hated you for leaving." He looked up at the sky. "I hated you."Jack took a step backward, away from me, and as he did,a voice called out to us. "Don't let him drive you apart!"We both turned toward the sound. Mary was sitting on a bench under the shelter of the bus stop. I hadnt noticed her before.She'd been watching us.She stood and came over. "That's what he wants. He's scared of anchors. I told you I have a theory about anchors.”