“Boards don't hit back.”
“I hit him with a board; of course he’s got a concussion. Don’t be an idiot.”
“If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.”
“We fired pie filling. That was the Faroes. When they tried to board us, we hit them with forty-five gallon shots of custard and banana creme.”
“Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft!”
“Sorry. Sorry. Don't hit. Bitches be scary when they hit.”