“Bryan Lee O'Malley has been alive since he was born and will lives until he dies.”

“Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon.”

“Let's be friends based on mutual hate."- Wallace Wells"Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's' market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon." - Wallace Wells”

“We have a mutual friend, see, and she- Ah, screw it. This is Gideon. When would it be convenient for you to die?”

“This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony, and it's called, 'We hate you, please die.”

“‎All my stupid little thoughts beget stupid little thoughts, rampantly speculating every possible outcome of every possible situation until they're all done to death and none of them could ever be true.”

“She’s their secret weapon! They call her Trasha, and she’s eight years old. I hear they discovered her at the Pacific Mall arcade, playing Drum-Mania. She has so much A.D.D., it’s not even funny.”