“Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face.”

“Scott: I don't think I'm ready to be a grown-up.Kim: I don't think you are either, buddy. But hey, you'll get it. It just takes practice.”

“These shoes are Mr Silly's shoes, Scott.”

“You suck, surprising no one!!!! If bad was a boot, you'd fit it!!!! You're a stupid poo-poo head! I had sexual relations with your mother! Your mother was not that good in bed! You, sir, are a wretched soul! I am rubber, you are glue!”

“Somehow the pantsless gay man is not bringing the romance, Scott.”

“I feel like im in this river just getting swept along... And if I hold on to anyone, if I'm holding on for dear life, I'm not getting anywhere. I'm stuck. ...I never wanted to get stuck”

“We have a mutual friend, see, and she- Ah, screw it. This is Gideon. When would it be convenient for you to die?”