“You know you're a chemist when you expect your washing machine not just to have "spin" but to have "lock and shim" as well. And when your clothes don't come out clean you wonder if it's because you chose the wrong solvent from the menu or something, or maybe it ran out of N2. Or if the machine was tuned to "pants" rather than "socks" nucleus. And then you think "I'll submit it for service”