“Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get his laundry done.”

“Marriage," she said quietly, "is the most expensive ticket to nowhere”

“He has to wair for another load of laundry to get done. So I wait with him. I lean back against the couch, sitting really low the way I like. I scrunch over and put my head on his shoulder. We sit like that for a long time. Watching other people's laundry dry. <3”

“Good heavens! how marriage ruins a man! It's as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.”

“The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You're just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won't. Once the initial high wears off, you'll just be you, except with twice as much laundry. Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something -- it's about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession -- a free-agent penis -- and for us, it's the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.”

“I had a nightmare about beingTrapped in an elevator with a self-made man--He was born with a silver bootstrap in his mouth;He pulled himself up by his spoons.But when he lived in the fraternity,Before he could roll his sleeves up and get anything done,He would pack his laundry into boxesAnd mail it off to his mother and his grandmother--They would wash and iron his clothes, And then mail them back to him.”