“Cake is happiness! If you know the way of the cake, you know the way of happiness! If you have a cake in front of you, you should not look any further for joy!”

“If you wait for a cake to be given to you so you will be happy- then you will be happy when someone gives you a cake. But if you buy a cake (or bake one) for yourself so you will be happy, you have found the way of happiness.”

“Besides you can't steal cake. Nobody owns cake. If you don't have sense to know cake's meant to be eaten up, you ought not be making one.”

“A slice of cake never made anyone fat. You don't eat the whole cake. You don't eat a cake every day of your life. You take the cake when it is offered because the cake is delicious. You have a slice of cake and what it reminds you of is someplace that's safe, uncomplicated, without stress. A cake is a party, a birthday, a wedding. A cake is what is served on the happiest days of your life.”

“Who's got my Jaffa Cakes? You know I can't function without Jaffa Cakes.”

“To buy a cake... to howl at the moon... to know true happiness... I am happy.”