“Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.”

“The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.”

“It smelled like sex and dog in here. But mostly it smelled like sex.”

“Here's a taxidermist's," Bill said. "Want to buy anything? Nice stuffed dog?" "Come on," I said. "You're pie-eyed.""Pretty nice stuffed dogs," Bill said. "Certainly brighten up your flat.""Come on." "Just one stuffed dog. I can take 'em or leave 'em alone. But listen, Jake. Just one stuffed dog.""Come on.""Mean everything in the world to you after you bought it. Simple exchange of values. You give them money. They give you a stuffed dog.""We'll get one on the way back.""All right. Have it your own way. Road to hell paved with unbought stuffed dogs. Not my fault.”

“Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a sex object, the difference is that is not all she longs to be.”

“If you look like your passport photo, you probably need the vacation.”